Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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