Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
