He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This baby is an asshole
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
