I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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