you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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