It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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