he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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