The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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