Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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