Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
