i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
