She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
