I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
