Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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