Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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