stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
MIDGETS
????
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
