So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize