Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
is that a dick in a sweater?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
