yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
be right there i have to get my cape
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
