She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
