I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
