Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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