i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
