Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
