I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize