Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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