OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
