Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
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