He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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