I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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