Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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