You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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