my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize