nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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