I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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