He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
