We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So much rum. So many feels.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
