It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
