mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
