i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
