Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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