I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
