maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
