Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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