I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
