had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Damn victory sex feels great
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