I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
