We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
