So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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