The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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