Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
