Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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