aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
