Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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