i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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