i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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