I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
