I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
