It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
