I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
