Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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