Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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