It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Why did my mother make you get naked?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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