You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
