Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
last night I used snow as a chaser
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
