I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
