Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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