do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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