don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
