I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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